I'm in bed practicing. I am in a Bed Race on Saturday in Cathedral City, California. My bed is being sponsored by The Westin Mission Hills Golf Resort who is giving me a real bed for the night! I am at The Mary Pickford Theatre Saturday night. It is all part of Cathedral City LGBT Pride!!
Come see me!!!
Speaking of beds, I snored so loud on Celebrity Big Brother UK, they said I sounded like a baby lion. I commiserated with this English reality star who was on the show with me. Beautiful girl but she snored like a freight train when drunk. When told she snored, she whispered to me, "Seems a bit 'common' to snore, don't it? A bit shameful."
My snoring can be traced to my ongoing struggle with sleep meds. I have been told when I take them I snore. Plus, I get mean. I really do. Real mean. And hateful. So I am weaning myself off them. Down to one half dose.
I do 44 venues a year in multiple times zone. So it is a struggle. Insomnia is a HUGE fear of mine. Especially in strange hotel rooms. It goes back to my drug struggles although I am almost 20 years clean and sober.
But I remember it all. Crystal Meth use was just not conducive to a good nights sleep! Yikes!!!!!!!
Know what is helping me? A snoring app called SnoreLab. Brilliant! Tracks my sleep and RECORDS MY SNORING!! I only snore in the 7th hour now. And it is more like a purr. A tiny kitten purr.
I start my nightly routine at 9pm. I turn the TV off and begin to dim the lamps. No caffeine after 3pm. And no sugar. My bed is like The Princess and the Pea. Piled high. I then hop in and turn on SnoreLab!!!!! ...
First off, I am afraid people are going to think I only own one pair of pants. These are my favorite pants. From LOUDMOUTH GOLF ATTIRE out of Vancouver, Canada. The favored pants of John Daly, the golfer. I have been photographed a lot in these pants. But at least this time I paired them with a jacket and my brand new Stan Smith Adidas.
I was asked to make a presentation at the "The Waggy Awards". It was absolutely the best event ever! Even the vegan food ruled! Honoring Tippi Heddren (Who knew she rescues lions and tigers!?), Linda Blair (Who knew she rescues pit bulls!?) Moby (Who practically invented Electronic Music and is a big animal lover!) and also this wonderful woman called "The Captain" (Whose real name escapes me). She was a California Prison Warden who started a program where inmates in prison are given dogs straight from almost being euthanized to train!
I was so honored to be there as I have been bringing home strays most of my life. For many years, it was "strays" of the two-legged variety. Real cute but just "strays." I can no longer afford to do that. And I really don't want to. "Strays" of the two-legged variety are a lot of work. And a lot of nonsense.
Now I have my beloved Beauregard. And he is the only stray I need!!!
I am going home to Tennessee to see mama and the twins. Here we are with Cousin Lisa. Why we have knit caps over our faces is a conundrum that sparks the inagination. I think we had plans to rob the local toy store. Cousin Lisa was the ring leader. I was her willing henchman. The twins were just along to ride shotgun!!
FRIDAY APRIL 1 at 8pm I am at LE FAIS DO DO In Atlanta. Y'all come see me!!
Then home to Tennessee to calm my fevered mind. I have been consumed with my big musical project CHURCH! (A SPIRITED REVIVAL). It was like carrying a baby for 9 months. I misbehaved terribly during the gestation and birth. Now I have given the baby away to my producing and writing partners Mike Lotus, Bill Dunlap and Linda Burgess "in the best interests of the child." I have lost objectivity. But I feel bereft and adrift.
BUT... I am off to Savannanh, Georgia to shoot a big TV series that will only air in The UK!! "LIVING THE DREAM"!! I will be there till June 30th!!!!
WHAT A SUCCESS STORY! Thank each and every one of you dog lovers for the advice! Beauregard now has TWO DADDIES in his life. ME, the adoptive daddy and STACEY who raised him from a puppy to age twelve!!!! Stacey is coming back on Sunday evening for some more BEAUREGARD TIME! Beau ain't moping no more!!!!! ...